what we've learned from marriage | joy + shane

Our first year of marriage is in the books. We wanted to reflect one a couple of things that we’ve learned.

First year of marriage. I am 370 days into marriage, but who’s counting! It has been such a fun ride through this first year. Full of so much adventure, so much travel (thanks to Shane’s job), laughter, tears, joyful moments, sad moments, learning curves, and newness. We’ve learned so much about what it means to be a “team”. Marriage is all about working together, compromising, and holding each other accountable… and of course, loving each other the best we can. 

The most important part of our marriage is keeping our eyes set on the Lord before even each other. I know that sounds insane to some, but here is why it’s the best thing. It is the best thing because we come before Christ as sinners. We are imperfect and we fail daily. Putting Christ first is keeping us from solely relying on each other because we will fail each other. I remember that was a piece of advice that my dad had given us way back when we started dating. He told us to “keep the Lord at the center because we will fail each other”. We will fail each other because we are not perfect humans. Keeping it at that takes so much pressure off of us and keeps us focused on what the meaning behind marriage is.

Marriage to us is a bond that is bound by Christ. He brought us together to work together in life and support one another, and love one another until the end. It isn’t always an easy route and being only one year into marriage, I can’t really give too much advice on the all the ups and the downs that will come, but what I can continually go back to is keeping our focus on Him and not on every little bump that comes your way. 

If you are going through your first year of marriage or are about to get married, I encourage you to take a moment and focus on what your relationship is based on. More importantly, who your relationship is based on. We are all human, we all insecure, we are all imperfect, and there is nothing more comforting than knowing that when we fail, we have the Lord to rely on. When we are struggling, when we are down, or when you are discouraged, we have the Lord to rely on and go to in prayer for help. I heard a quote while listening to a sermon from The Porch and he said “What you use as a source of wisdom really matters…because it takes you places so consider carefully what you pay attention too”. I really think that can be taken into marriage. Remember who you are taking advice from and what you are taking into your marriage!

“What you use as a source of wisdom really matters... because it takes you places so consider carefully what you pay attention too”.
— The Porch

With all of that, marriage has been the most exciting and fun thing I have ever done. It has been by far the most rewarding thing. It is so fun, you get to live and do life with your best friend and it is truly a life long sleepover full of the best laughter and adventure. Always remember why you married your spouse, always reflect back to that new excitement and always remember to have fun!